Mastertronic - What if? : Resident Evil VII

Mastertronic brings you "Resident Evil VII" on cassette for £1.99, only for Commodore, Amstrad, Spectrum and Atari  - Available from all good newsagents, chemists and game shops!

If only..... :o)

Because I have WAY too much time on my hands, I thought I'd mess around with putting together some fake Mastertronic covers for modern computer games in an attempt to give them the retro 1980's 8-bit cassette look.

Remember...  These are just for fun, and are obviously NOT real and NOT available, (although I'd love to see an 8-bit version with blocky graphics and cool chip-music).

In case you are not aware (or can not remember), Mastertronic were big in the mid to late 1980s and were a major budget software label in the United Kingdom and produced a large number of cheapo games and re-releases for the Commodore/Spectrum/Amstrad/Atari 8-bit computers (and some 16-bit too) - most at a pocket-money-friendly £1.99!  They're still going now, but dare I say it I doubt anyone from the original days is still running things.

Anyway, remember this is just a bit of fun, but what would modern games look like if Mastertronic still released games like the good ol' days? Well, here you can find out!

As always, click the images to enlarge.

 

 

 

 

Sitting on my bum... Because I have to.

Here's an interesting article in the news today...

"There has been "an alarming increase" in the number of working-age people suffering strokes, with unhealthy lifestyles being seen as the main cause." They mention television and computer games (as they always do).

These news reports annoy me.  They're very quick at criticising those who sit on their bums all day, watching TV or playing computer games.

The problem isn't watching TV or playing computer games.  I love playing computer games...  I always have and always will, and that will never change.  I'm a computer nerd, however I spend 8 hours of the day sat in front of a computer not playing computer games because it's my job.  YES, THAT'S RIGHT, the majority of my day is spent in front of a computer because I have too - I make a living from it.  Is that any different to sitting at home playing games?  Why not mention that when writing these articles since so many of us have to sit at work?

So if the chances of me suffering a stroke are increased because of that, maybe I should get danger pay?  After all, what they are saying is that my job is dangerous to my health.

Also, if they're going to whinge at those watching TV as well, why not have a go at those who sit on their bums and read books....  play board games....  draw/paint...  etc.?

Sitting on our bums doing things is a part of life!  How easy it is to single out TV and computers for the health problems of today.

How things change....

Whilst having a sort out and rummaging through the black hole that is my cupboard in the bedroom, I've come across this newspaper advert dating back to Friday 17th April, 1998.  Ok, it's nothing special, but it is in fact the advert that convinced me back in 1998 to upgrade my puny Pentium 90 Windows 95 PC (and also my suped up 40mhz Commodore Amiga 500) to a 'top of the range' Windows 98 PC with an astounding 300mhz Pentium 2 processor, complete with 64mb of RAM, 4mb ATI Rage Pro graphics card (which I upgraded almost immediately with a 3DFX Voodoo 2 card) and an incredibly large (at the time anyway) 6.4Gb hard drive, all for an amazing £1173.83

 

What amazes me more now is how the 21 year old me from 1998 could actually afford £1173.83 on a PC (bearing in mind that I also bought a laptop from Time around the same too for around £1500).

 

Click to enlarge

 

Games that remind me of my childhood Number 25 : Dorks Dilemma (Commodore Plus 4)

Dorks Dilemma is a fun one player game that was released by Gremlin Graphics in 1985.  You control "Dork", an alien who awakens after crashing his space ship on an alien planet inhabited by Zobwats.  The Zobwats have dismantled your ship and have scattered the parts across 25 different rooms.  As Dork, you must explore each room, destroying the Zobwats with your bombs and reconstruct your ship so that you can escape.

Each room is a small maze consisting of various walls, with a spaceship part located in the middle.  In order to collect the ship part, you must destroy a set number of Zobwats using an infinite supply of bombs.  It sounds simple, but when you drop a bomb you only have a few seconds to get as far from it as possible.  If you're too close, you'll be killed too.  Once the Zobwats have been destroyed, move on to the next room, and the spaceship part appears in a jigsaw on the right of the screen.

Once you have collected all 25 pieces, you have to rearrange the jigsaw pieces to properly display a picture of your ship taking off from the planet.

The finished jigsaw

You're free to enter/exit the rooms as you please and although the 25 rooms are always the same, they are re-arranged in to a different order with each game, adding a bit of variety.  However, if you destroy some Zobwats and leave the room before destroying the required amount, you have to do it all over again when you re-enter the room.

One good way to kill the Zobwats is to let them come to you, then drop a bomb and run! (or roll)

Just let a bomb go off.

Each room has four respawning Zobwats that appear in each corner of the screen.  They gradually follow you, moving closer and although they can touch you, you must be careful not to move in to them.  It is possible for them to trap you in a corner or surround you, so be very careful, especially when planting a bomb.  Once you drop a bomb,  you have a few seconds to get away before it goes off.  You then have to wait several seconds for another bomb to regenerate

Don't get trapped.

If you enter a room where the ship part has already been collected, you get this.

AND should you finish the game and escape the planet...  You get to do it all over again from the beginning!  The only difference is you have more Zobwats to destroy in each room, and they move faster too.

All that hard work, and all you get is this message when you finish the game.

 

The box - part of a double tape compilation.

 

The tape

 

The full box cover, featuring all four games - Dorks Dilemma, Petals of Doom, Xargon Wars and Tycoon Tex

 

What's frightening about this game is that it's nearly 30 years old - Talk about making me feel old.